A message that needed to be shared

A lot of this is from the message my dad gave yesterday called, "Ending Well" then of course mixed with some my thoughts.

Around this time of year there is a lot of reevaluating looking back over the past year. With this holiday this is common, however; there are many other times in life we look back over our lives or the lives of others: thanksgiving, after an accident, a sickness, a death, birthdays, or maybe if you're like me several other random times just reflecting. As believers, when we reflect it isn't, hopefully, focused on: success, wealth, health, happiness, or desires that came true but rather a couple other things. Paul hits these as he comes near to his end.

As Paul writes 2 Timothy he is aware that his death is to come soon. Specifically in 2 Timothy 4 verse 6 we see this: For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. But then Paul continues with what our focus as believers should be in verse 7: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Paul lays out our "blueprints" for reflection here. It is a good ending if we... fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith. But what do those mean?

Fought the Good Fight:
first off we are at battle with sin in our own hearts. It means putting to death the desires of our flesh (Colossians 3). It is a fight against yourself. That there may be nothing left of us but solely Christ.
Fighting the good fight also means fighting the world. We are to be set apart from this world not falling to the corruption of this world - movies, music, theology, thoughts on marriage, on life, on others, money, work, church, school, family, relationships, etc. - but to be constantly renewing our minds to be more like Christ (Romans 12:2).
It is also a fight against the enemy, "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:11-12
Now this does not mean we fight just to fight. There are some who pick fights but we are not suppose to be those individuals. For as 2 Timothy 2:24 says, "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful."

Finished the Race:
This race is not a race we choose but one that Christ set out for us. Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Notice Paul didn't say that I win the race but finish. Not to say that this is any way passive, Paul said that he considers his life worth nothing but rather his entire life was about finishing the race Christ set before him, preaching to the Gentiles. As Christ followers we are to be about the things Christ is about and He is about redeeming His people back, this is the race set before us.

Kept the Faith:
There are different times when Paul is writing his letters and mentions that certain people have turned away from Christ, from the faith. Don't give up on faith! Christ will never give you anything you can't handle, remember this? Or how about His promise that He will never leave or forsake you (Hebrew 13:5), that He will be with you until the end of the ages as you run the race (Matthew 28:20)? Don't give up, rely on Christ! "The moment you think you could never fall is when you are most vulnerable." - my dad.

So as we reflect we need to ask: (in this situation, this year, this lifetime) have I fought the fight? Finished the race? Kept the faith?

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrew 12:1-3


And if we do these; fight the fight, finish the race, keep the faith, then we will receive a crown (verse 8): Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

One last thought, in verse 8 it says those who long for his appearing...are you looking forward to seeing Jesus? Paul writes to the Philippians that he is torn because he wants to be in heaven with Christ but realizes that it would be more beneficial for him to be here on earth for now (Philippians 1:21-26). Do you want to see Jesus Christ so badly that you would go right now if you could?

Lift Your Eyes

This week was finals week. 24 hours devoted to studying, eating, sleeping, and taking tests (how ridiculous). Upon all of this there was the stress from last week, as said in my past learning, only little did I (and probably still do) I comprehend.

Sunday was the beginning of the "breach." As I heard teaching from Isaiah waking me slightly from my sleep to realize that there were sins I was allowing to become life mostly those of pride and selfishness. I was cracked by this, how could I allow this to happen? But then it was time to get back to school life and study, study, study. Throughout the week the Holy Spirit began convicting me. I would say something then instantly think, "that was not edifying." It might have been a funny sarcastic comment but that does not matter and last time I checked - this individual (speaking of myself) wasn't a fan of sarcasm. I even had a conversation with a friend at one point talking about how I need to tame my tongue. But still I went on with the week in jest. There were a couple different times where I did apologize for my speech but still allowed it to happen...? Yesterday morning while I was studying I was just so torn. There was something on my mind that I just wouldn't allow me to focus. I read a long letter that was given to me a couple months back. It was filled with scripture and as I read through each page I hurt more and more, I was cracking. Then came today. Last final done and out of the way this morning. Came back to my room cleaned, packed, helped send off my roommate, and then began to read "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. I came to page 73 and as I finish the second paragraph, I'm broken.

I believe that if we truly cared about the Holy Spirit's grief, there would be fewer fights, divorces, and splits in our churches. Maybes it's not due to a lack of believe but rather a lack of concern. I pray for the day when believers care more about the Spirit's grief than their own. In fact, I pray that some of you readers would be broken over the grief you've placed on the Holy Spirit. So broken that you actually put down this book and work to resolve any conflicts you have with other believers. "if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." (Rom. 12:18)

I put the book down and walked across campus to a friend. As I walked up the stairs I wasn't excited because this was going to mean all pride killed in this to say, I was wrong forgive me. And unfortunately I did think that, Praise God that He stopped those thoughts and humbled me. After this I came back to my room and began to talk with another friend. I began to think out loud and was shocked: When I was in the different environment I was held to different standards. We all had the same values and without really vocalizing them we all understood and held to them. Here its different. The standards aren't as high so I'm able to get away with things. Not in the sense that I'm conscientiously thinking, "I can get away with this." Even with this truth, I cannot use it as an excuse. And at the beginning of this semester I had purpose and passion. I knew, whether or not I had every detail laid out, that God was in control and that I was here for a purpose and I was okay with that then... In that place, I was also very aware of the spiritual battles going on. I didn't over exaggerate it but I did not down play it and now...I've let my guard down. How could I have been so dumb, so blind? Instantly I was reminded of 1 Peter 5:5-9:

Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another, because, "God opposes the proud
but give grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's might hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. You enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Jesus, give me Your heart
Let there be a death in me
I'm making room for all that You are
Give me Your heart - Weak Man, Leeland

My beating heart is bursting out my skin
To go further up and further in.
Whatever it takes to bring me somewhere higher
Be it rain or be it fire. - Heaven and Earth, Phil Wickham

Lord may I be rooted firmly in You. Unwavering, not taking the detours or easy paths, but striving on direct towards You and Your Kingdom. Open my eyes, let me be attentive to Your Spirit. Give me strength to withstand the lies and temptation of the enemy.

A Thursday on Sunday...Intentional

in⋅ten⋅tion⋅al –adjective

1.	done with intention or on purpose; intended: an intentional insult.

2.	of or pertaining to intention or purpose.

dictionary.com

Friday night, I was reading through my old journal specifically entries that were written in Jan. and Feb (2009). I was shocked by the intentionality. My journals aren't day by day, "Today Billy and I went to the park..." (ha) or whatever my day had but rather prayers. And the prayers from the beginning of this year to now have changed quite a bit. I was praying so intentionally about relationships and attitude. If my attitude wasn't right I would lift it up casting that burden upon the Lord. As I finished reading some entries there was a weight that fell upon me; I have not been living as intentionally as I would like/should be living. I was talking to a friend this past week about this intentionality. My environment has changed quite a bit within the last couple months from very intentional - people not letting you get away with things to a culture which doesn't expect such high standards. Therefore I have been "getting away" with things. Not that I'm getting into the party scene or drugs or the rather evident things but just things that slip under the radar. Things that unless you are in a specific environment will slip unless you are very intentional.

This morning I heard from Isaiah 1:15-20 (ESV):

When you spread out your hands,
I will hide my eyes from you;
even though you make many prayers,
I will not listen;
your hands are full of blood.
Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause.
"Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.
If you are willing and obedient,
you shall eat the good of the land;
but if you refuse and rebel,
you shall be eaten by the sword;
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

The weight became heavier as I read through as realized I am like a dog returning to its vomit (Prov. 26:11). I know what it is like to be sanctified by the Lord, to be washed white as snow yet...I continue to go back to the my sin and wallow in the blood of my sin? At this, I think of Paul's words when he is writing to the Romans, "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (7:15) My mind swirled back to this previous week and all of its occurrences and then back to reading my journal. Not only was I not being as intentional in my prayer and life my tone had changed. The more recent entries have the tone more of a daughter who is has been caught "red handed" (Is. 1:15) versus the intimacy that use to be there.

Normally these "learnings" have solution conclusion because I saw the lesson on the "way out" only this time I'm in it and learning to which I say Praise God for showing me my follies, my sin, and for reminding me of HIS view of sin (James 2:10) versus my own. Therefore this end isn't super conclusive, I guess I will end with this as a challenge to you reading and is what I'm working towards again. No matter what environment you are in, be intentional always with your relationship with Christ. And know this no matter what you do it is not until you are "willing and obedient" will you then "you shall eat the good of the land" (Is. 1:19). Not just willing for have you ever heard anyone say, "I am willing to take care of the environment." or "I am will to do something about AIDS."? No, for willing won't do anything therefore be willing AND obedient to the Lord in all things even those under radar.

Mexico and back

Before we left, I knew that the week was going to be a good hard. By that I mean I knew I was going to be stretched a ton but that it was going to be hard. The whole week I struggled with were I am right now, being at school. My Junior year I committed to missions full time then during my internship I committed to going to the unreached and to the places no one wants to go. After being in Mexico for 15 months coming back hasn't been easy. At first I had no problem. I was pumped to be learning in every subject. But then a couple months went by and it was as if my transition period was delayed because that is when it started becoming hard. I've been struggling with:

"What does it look like for my to be overflowing with Christ? A contagious Christ follower? One who, even though I'm on a Christian campus, is different from the rest? I want to spread the gospel but I'm a Christian campus so what does that look like there? I'm at school for right now with what seemed no purpose. I am taking general classes but unsure with what my major should be. I know that I want to go to the places where most won't go, so how do I get in - by what means?"

All these things constantly swarming my head the past couple weeks and especially last week being in a place I love. Mexico is home to me, I can't truly describe why but it is. I've never felt at home as much as I do there. During the week done there I was able to spend time with two of the most influential people in my life. They reminded me, "God doesn't have you in the field because He knows you aren't ready for it. He hasn't finished preparing you to go yet because you obviously don't have all of the necessities to effectively reach the lost. At school you, are learning discipline in an uncomfortable situation, and while it isn't the same, it's similar. The field will be unfamiliar, uncomfortable and you will have nothing/no one to rely on except Him. He's teaching you that right now. Continue to trust your life to Him daily. Keep putting your life and everything about it on the alter daily." They reminded me again that it isn't about me and His plan is best. It is in His timing that things come to play.

Then also every morning I had the opportunity to meet with three college women and study worship. The thing that hit me the most about our study that week was: school and homework need to be worship as well as the times of praise and relationships. They are not excluded from worship. Everything I do needs to be glorifying to God, that includes school and homework.

Matt. 6:33

I listened to Francis Chan's latest message "The Holy Spirit and Our Effort part 1" It was over 2 Peter 1:5-11. He was talking about character focusing on verses 5-8 this week. He asked "What do you work hardest at?" Then said for himself this past year he was more concerned with accomplishments rather than being the man of God God wants him to be. Which I feel rings all too well with me except it has been the past couple months. Peter instructs us to make every effort to add character, to who God has called you to be not accomplishments. He told a story: So Jesus comes in and Jesus give each one of us one of two choices," For the year of 2010 you could have a great year. Really easy, good relationships, good marriage - not married and want to be its okay perfect spouse you'll meet this year, work you make 3 times as much as you did in 2009, etc. The year will be great but you aren't stronger at the end and you and I...we won't be closer. Or plan B: It's going to be pretty rough, lots of trials, but it's okay because i'm with you and we'll be closer than we have ever been before and you've be stronger in your faith than ever. But it is going to be a really tough year. So what's your pick, plan A or plan B?" This made me think a lot. I wan so badly to be contagious, to be overflowing with Christ then hard times come and I fail...No more. I want to be like Christ i'm praying to be molded and shaped like Christ no matter what it takes! That's a scary statement, a scary prayer, but I mean it. I was asked today by a friend how I was soing to which I responded, "overall good." With further inquiry I began to explain, "It's hard being back. It's hard being on a Christian campus and wanting to be so contagious, to be so radical, so overflowing with Christ that I am standing out because of Christ - but unsure what that looks like. Its hard to be at school when I don't know why (major). It's hard when I don't have those deep friendships near. Its hard finding the balance between friends and school. It's hard to be single when everyone is talking about marriage...but I'm broken, God is humbling me, making me nothing. Making me dependent on Him for the future, with school, in relationships, and life. I'm glad I'm here in this, going through it all. I want so badly to be like Christ! I yearn to be who He has created me to be. Chan also said, "God is more concerned about changing you then your circumstances." And I think I'm beginning to understand at least for now and understand a glimpse that I am here to grow. Seems like a "duh" concept but as for those who know me I have many of those moments. Then the verse 8, "For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." I have been so concerned with accomplishments I've missed Character and have seen the very beginning of the down slide of being unproductive - not okay but, Praise God for revealing it to me now at the beginning, Praise God for waking me up!

Character over accomplishments
Seeking Christ over all!

Walking

Tonight I watched Passion of the Christ with some girls, one who had never seen it before. As it came to the walk up to Golgotha there was one main thing that continued to circulate in my mind: "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. " (Luke 9:23) Our culture has made the cross into this nice little pendent that we were around our necks or get tattooed on our arms but this was not a honoring symbol but one of disgrace and the lowest way of death. As I watched Gibson's interpretation of the walk up to Golgotha and eventually the act of the crucifixion through tears all I could do was cry out, "I will go even unto death. I will pick up my cross." My imagination went wild as I watched and thought of ways those words could "get" me into trouble but it doesn't matter for HE is worthy! He became nothing so that we might become something. The highest became the lowest. Lord teach me surrender every day, that I may be less and you may be all. Show me the pain, give me eyes to see as you, teach me how to love as you. This life is not my own! Lord keep me focused on You as you direct me and carry me through things I cannot understand for I know You are in control and Your plans are the best. I will pick up my cross Lord and follow You.

Lord you gave your life for me, So I will give my life for you " - Because of Your Love, Phil Wickham

"Death alone will put a stop to my effort!" - David Livingston
"If Jesus Christ Be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." - C.T Studd
"I have recieved my all from God, oh that I could return my all to God." - David Brainerd

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ, Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of know Christ Jesus my Lord." - Phil. 3:7-8
"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." - Acts 20:24

Questions.

It's been a lot harder then I ever thought it would be. I have so many questions, unanswered. I understand that trials are for maturity but why so constant? I'm trying to be used to beyond my best here where I am, but what does that look like? I want to continue to surrender every day, show me how. I want to be the person, even though I'm on a Christian campus, is so contagious and different because Christ is just overflowing. I want more and more of my God.

Because You say so, I'll Follow

For my creativity class, yes a class teaching your creativity..hmm, we have to write a paper on a creative person in the field we are going into. My professor was listing off attributes of a creative person and the three he listed off fit someone perfectly for me; visionary, effort, risk-taker: Nate Saint. Yesterday as I continued my research I thought I would watch, "End of the Spear." I had seen it before only I forgot last time I saw it, I wanted nothing to do with missions. As I watched the excitement of those five men as they made their plans my excitement rose with them. Then to see them leave their families... (from the movie) young Steve Saint asks, "If the Wawadoni attack will you defend yourself? Will you use your guns?" and Nate's response, "Son we can't shoot the Wawadoni, they're not ready for heaven." I was no longer just watching a movie but realizing, as I have before, this will be my life. I praise God for the times that I have with my friends and my family now but there will be a day when I have to say, "goodbye" at least for several years at a time and possibly forever. I'm not trying to dramatic but realistic. As the movie continued, my excitement grew once again as they had their first encounter with the Wawadoni people and then fell hard as those 5 men where martyred. It was the realization, again, that this is my life. From the day I realized the depth of my sin and pleaded for forgiveness, I committed my life. For when God saved us He did save us so that we might be free and give Him parts of our life but rather our whole entire lives...and then to be a disciple,

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple...So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26-27, 33)

Any one who does not renounce all that he has; things, money, jobs, dreams, parents, siblings, nieces & nephews, spouse, your life... Any one who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. This costs me my life...Those five men realized that. This life is bigger then fame, a good job with good money, then family, then living, but it is about God and HIS plan.

As these realizations spun through my head, and I praise God for this because I know if it were I these words wouldn't have come to my mouth, I prayed, "Lord, still I will go. If only one person comes from my death, so be it. I will go."

May this be true of my life:
I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. And now, behold, I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit,testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me. But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to my myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received form the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. (Acts 20:20-24)

long time coming...(haven't written in awhile)

Lord, I wanna yearn for You
I want to burn with Passion
For only You

So many questions without answers, Your promises still remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way


song lyrics: Yearn - Shane & Shane, Hold my Heart - Tenth Ave. North, Arms Open Wide - Hillsong, Hold Me Now - Hillsong, Hosanna - Hillsong

Running Hard

Recently there have been quite a few different changes happening. It's so funny to me, in an ironic sort of way. Two years ago this time I had a five year plan. I was going to graduate, go down to Caravan for a year, then head off to Virginia for four years...only oh yes, the only thing I followed to the "T" is graduating. I was at Caravan longer then I planned and I'm not definitely not in Virginia right now, the weather is telling me that one as well - whew its chilly. But despite all these adjustments over the past two years I still continue to make plans and I write about this all the time, would you think it would be kicked out of me or at least I would be smart enough to do something different haha. But alas once again I had one of these moments. I'm in a place I didn't plan on and I'm so glad I'm here. The support group that I was praying about looks completely different then I thought it was going to and they challenging me daily to dig deeper and be solid in my faith. I was going to be involved with a near by churches small groups but that didn't work and now I'm becoming involved in ways I never expected. I was arrogant in thinking that I was the only one who understood the need for missions, really how arrogant. I wasn't sure what to expect for church, God provided above expectations.

Two questions: Why am I continually surprised that God changes my plan? When God told Abraham, Moses, the disciples, and many many others He didn't say go with your plan but rather He said "Go! Leave all you know and follow me. Follow my plan." (Gen. 12:1, Exodus 3, Mark 1:16-20) And why am I surprised that God is working? He has been, is, and will continue to work for eternity and I have only been and will be as He allows me to be; I am but a vapor (James 4:13-15) but as the four living creatures cry out (Rev. 4:8) "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."

I was brought back to my life statement again this week as I was learning this that I should be in all I do, living a life worthy for the Lord, life worthy of the gospel. That I continue to surrender all comforts, personality, significance that I have, plans, whatever it may be, to surrender all. For when Christ called the disicples they dropped all to follow Him, when Abraham left his family he didn't know where he was going but he obeyed and went (heb. 11:8), Moses tried to give excuses but he still went and God was with him, now today my story is similar. He is calling me to drop all even as I don't know where I am going, to go.

God continues to encourage me everyday with little things reminding me His plan is the best and He is in control.


I hear You calling me and I come running
I've fallen into love and nothing will stop me
I hear You calling me and I come running
_Heaven and Earth, Phil Wickham

A Paraphrase

"Go. Leave it all."
"Where? Where shall I go?"
"I'll show you but for now go."

genesis12:1-3

What a week

This Wednesday at chapel a pastor from a local church spoke. He started off by describing the a desert hike he had gone on last year. It was 120 degrees and they came upon this Arar tree with fruit. Of course they all asked the guide if they could have some. So they grabbed the fruit and then cut it open and it was empty except for cobwebs and the little that was in there was poison. Jeremiah 17:5-6.
This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

This bush/tree look good on the outside but then on the inside it is full of cobwebs and poison. But then there is another tree described in verses 7 and 8:

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

What's the difference between the two trees? Simple. One tree is rooted in the river and the other is not. Am I rooted in the river? Rooted in God? Or is it just a good superficial look even with "fruit."

He posed these questions: Where does your heart go to find pleasure, when there's a season of drought? What is it that cause you to worry, to be afraid?

It's your roots that determine who you are.

While I know with all my heart that I am rooted in the Lord I began to prune. Are there any places where I see this Arar fruit budding? Places where instead of trusting in the Lord I'm putting up this front? Then once I found those, to begin the process of hacking the bad branches off (John 15:1-2).


"Anything fake is poisonous."
_the pastor's little daughter

Hard headed or Somethin'

I was challenged early on this week to, "think outside the box." I had just got done telling my friend different stories about my time in Mexico specifically about my "try again" entry that I had written last August about Maldives and the following months of my brain processing different things. As soon as she said this I began to think, "what in the world does that look like?" I am a very inside the box thinker. Give me rules, direction and I'll follow but give me freedom and I almost don't know what to do with myself. As I began to think about this "outside the box" over the next couple of days I realized something that I have noticed before but it was another one of my "duh" moments; I like plans. I know that you are all thinking duh or possibly might have chuckled a bit because that is an obvious with me but like I said it was a "duh" moment. When God changed my life in a matter of a moment 4 years ago in Mexico once I returned I instantly began thinking, "what will/can I do as a vocation because I can't just major in missions?" At that time I was reading Mission to the Headhunters by Frank and Marie Drown and at one point she spoke of medicine and how that opened up doors to share the gospel and instantly I thought I can do this. Then there was the Maldives saga, ha, where I fought and fought then said alright I can do this. Again and again different things have "appeared" and I right away I say alright "lets conquer" or "woah what...well okay lets conquer." Then I thinking and wondering and seeing that maybe this isn't right. I go through pros and cons, maybe I don't make a list but mentally, oh yeah. think outside the box...

Back in July when the staff was on retreat we had one day where we were in silence and solitude. One of the things I so clearly understood that day was Trust God He has the plans for you (Jer. 29:11) and then...live by faith as Abraham did. The author of Hebrews comments on his faith in chapter 11 specifically I think of verse 8, "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (emphasis mine) God told him just a glimpse of the plan, God said go and gave him a promise.

The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."(Gen. 12:1-3)

Put this into perspective. At this point Abraham had established a home with his wife and family, servants, his job, his life. Think about it in our terms today, Think about your life: where you live, your family, your friends, jobs, church family, your favorite places to go, etc. and then God says, "I want you to leave all of it and go to a new place where I'll show you but for now just go." ...wait you want me to do what? Okay well when will I get there? How far away? Do I get to come back and see my family? Is it hot or cold what do I need to bring? Can I leave in a month I need to finish somethings? I would be asking for clarifications, details, "benefits", wanting to know what exactly am I getting myself into. But this is key,

"So Abram left, as the LORD had told him..." (Gen.12:4)
"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (Heb. 11:8)

Abraham hears God's commands and goes. "He did not go in blind faith but in complete confidence in God's trustworthiness."(The study notes) Complete confidence in God. Thinking back to my constant switching of plans, my in the box thinking and right now feeling as though I'm in this "limbo" and wanting to yet again switch to another plan. This is something God has been hammering into my head since last summer (and I'm sure before) and you would think, "ya got it yet?" but man I just so badly want to be in control of things even without my knowing. Thankfully God knows me therefore he uses people (and a myriad of different things) to get through my thick head once again to teach me, Faith. Faith like Abraham. Have complete confidence in me. I know that my friend had intended me to be thinking out of the box about different things but God led me back to this lesson again which I so desperately needed. Just be still and have faith.


Psalm 46:10
Psalm 37

A little different thursday sharing

I was surrounded by a group of 300 plus students walking on the shoulder of the street making our ways to the sand dunes. Once we climbed the stairs to reach the sand we dispersed for an hour and a half of alone time. I sprinted up the dunes to my right finding the perfect spot with Silver Lake on my left and Lake Michigan on the right with sand of course everywhere in between. When I sat down looking upon His majesty. I couldn't help but sing praises. Sing beautiful and cannons by Phil Wickham which made me think of Ps. 104, which made me pray and sing more praises. How beautiful you are Lord!

Later after we returned to camp we entered the gym listening about Character :

where do I say one thing and do another?

the stuff you want to see happen can actually can happen…because of the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives

not so that we tell others how to live but challenge others by the way you live with that character

When we discussed these thoughts about Character afterwards we went around the group and talked about people we knew in our lives that exemplify godily character. One of the girls talked of someone she met in South Africa and because of visa problems she was threatened to be thrown into jail and this guy was going to make sure if that happened that he was going to be thrown in too compromising is reputation, etc. so he could protect her. And no matter who he talks to rich, middle, poor he was the same person. And I almost started crying it was crazy, I yearn so badly to have that character to be so in love with Christ it just overflows from me. And this is when the overwhelming continued from the morning sand dune time.

The next session was about Jesus being a servant washing his disciples feet– the last person expected to do the job is the one who did the job (john 3:1-17 & phil. 2:1-11)... we went back into our room(small group room) and our leader washed our feet. We sat in silence as she went around and when she came to me I just…I was in awe. I tried to picture Christ washing my feet and I would have responded like Peter, asking why you Lord? Then I was brought to tears by the fact that He did and then He was the ultimate servant and gave up His life… The rest of the night I was just in silence just in awe of God and wanting so badly to be like Him.

Oh Lord how majestic you are, may I continue to just delight in you. I am baffled by you, by salvation…it just wow I am in awe of you completely. Thank you Lord for delighting in me and allowing me to delight in you.

Camp

"thursday" blog is coming soon hopefully tomorrow. I wasn't able to write it last week because we were at camp last thursday to today and God taught me so much so I'm excited to tell you all soon. But I apologize for the delay I'm not going to stop writing just because I'm at school I just did not have a computer last thursday.

Yes it's been a week already or possibly, it's finally been a week

The transition being back home has been hard as I have said. One of the things I've notice the most is with routines. I knew that I have always liked routines but I was reminded of that as I have been back. I was so use to the way life worked down there. Everyday was filled with different things and even the days we had off were usually filled with exploring, shopping in the tiungis, replying back to the multiple messages we let pile up during the week, etc. whatever it might have been our days were filled. Last week my week was filled with school work, getting things for school, and other errands that needed to be done. But this week has been different. The days haven't been filled some of the evenings have but the days, nada. Which has thrown me into remembering everything and therefore missing everyone. Yesterday after the rain had subsided I went and sat on my front porch to read and write. I read through the daily reading in "My Utmost for His Highest." And my butt was kicked. For some reason coming home "granted" me forgetting all the things I was so aware of at Caravan. Such things as:

• being aware of the enemy trying to make me ineffective and unproductive (1 peter 5:8)
• not worrying- I know I have that tendency but cast all my cares upon Christ (1 peter5:7) "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." _Crazy Love, Francis Chan
• Wherever you are be all there.
• It's NOT about me.
  

I was allowing the fact that life now is not how is has been for the past fifteen months merit my attitude being down and letting my emotions control me. Of God knows when we need these kicks and He gave me mine in His perfect timing. Now I'm not saying that now everything is peachy keen, no it's still weird to be home and the transition is hard but when put into the correct perspective which is:

remember life isn't going to be easy because I have an enemy and he'll use whatever to keep me unproductive including my worry, emotions, and thinking it's about me. So often I forget this battle that we are fighting is not a war of flesh but of the spiritual realm which is real and my life isn't always reflecting that. I need to be putting on the armor of God and to be praying constantly (1 Thess. 5:17). Then also remembering it's not about me - my life is not my own it was bought at a price. God cares about my worries lay them at his feet and leave them there don't pick them back up the next day or even hour.

having that perspective does make things easier because God, the creator of DNA, supernovas, octves, humans, the world, the universe, that God...lives within us (followers, believers in Christ Jesus). When put into perspective it's easier. I still love and miss them but I know that we (me and my mcm family) are where we are suppose to be and that we are following God and saying, "Your will be done, not mine but Yours."

There was even more that God has been showing me this week from His Word and again through Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest" but this would have been my "time" limit on a thursday night and too much reading tends to make people not want to read. :]

White Flag

Tuesday was the first full day back. I answered the famous question, "How does it feel being back?" with a simple, "it feels weird, like it's a break and I will be returning." It wasn't until yesterday that it hit hard, I'm not going back, this is no break...I am here for the duration. As I grappled with this hard reality there were multiple thoughts going through my mind. "I know this is the next step but..." "I don't understand" "I have two families and one is in another country." "I don't understand, why is this so hard?" "I miss them." "Your plans are the best." Thankfully He never let's my mind stray so far that I forget His plans are the best and that He is in control. But "I am here for the duration" reminds me of something one of the speakers says at Caravan. he was speaking of his father being in the military and that his draft card said: For the duration. Until the job is done. At Caravan I was reminded daily of my commitment that I made, "I will go, I am committed for the duration." The job of all the nations knowing of how great our God is, is not completely therefore despite change in location the job is not done therefore I am still enlisted in fact my "draft card" should say, for eternity. I am His, completely. I say this all the time but it's because I need to remember it and being a human I forget, when I gave my life to Christ that meant I gave my life to Christ. No longer about me but solely about what God is about and his plans. And right now His plans are for me to be here. To use the same scripture from last week Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:28 Ps. 37:23-24 His plans are for prospering not harming. I just finished reading "Jesus Creed" by Scot McKnight for school and he puts it perfectly, "This disciple is living a life of surrender. Sometimes it hurts, but disciples will tell you right away that surrendering to Jesus is a good kind of hurt." I'm surrendering and right now it's hard, my flesh is crying out wanting my way but never will it have it's way for I am not a slave to it. Jesus never once said it would be easy but He is worthy of all therefore, I surrender all. May my words and my actions begin reflect and back each other up, always.

Here's the simple white-flag prayer a disciple carries each day: "May your will be done."
_Jesus Creed, Scot McKnight

Thursdays

Thursday has been a special day since the beginning of this year. It marked the day that I would share with the groups at Caravan of things God is showing and teaching me. I always enjoyed those times because they were a time for me to look at each week and ask myself the question, "What is God teaching me?" Which is a question I should be asking every day, even if they are little lessons. And though I am not at Caravan any more I do not want to forget to ask that question. Thus this post. I will try to every Thursday write what God is teaching me that week. To keep myself in check but also to share so that His work be known and name be glorified. So later today I shall write a post of my learnings this week.

Hard but Good

God changed my heart in a matter of a moment. Instantly my life plans were changed around what does this mean about school now I can’t just major in missions unless I’m going to new tribes which I didn’t see. Truly God just changed my heart so quickly. I quickly learned that not only was this something that is commanded of us but I better not be going because I feel bad for the people, because I want to help them because those aren’t going to keep me out on the field. Going out for any other reason other than for His Name Sake will not keep me out on the field through culture shock. And he is the only one who can keep me out there, like the story brad told this morning about the guy who just couldn’t take it and left and faith & trust in Christ will keep me there. For His name Sake, that the nations will know Him. God taught me these things so quickly and I embraced them trying to run as hard as I can after what His plans are because that’s where I want my plans to be. And that’s how it’s been this past year being here. Being presented with hard things but accepting them and running hard. But this morning it hit hard. There was one point where Brad said what I want and what God wants those path rarely cross but still God’s will above all. And I’m going to be real honest with you all right now. I’m leaving in a couple of days and I do not want to go home. I’ve been here at Caravan for about 15 months. This is my home. The staff are my family. I say that still ever loving my blood family. But these people know me the best. They’ve seen all sides of me, all the growth, everything. They’ve been the ones I run to when I’m excited when somethings funny, when tears are falling, and on and on. They are my family and I do not want to leave them. I don’t. But when brad spoke this morning and said what I want and what God wants, those paths rarely cross…I remembered, what I want does not matter. Because the instant I gave my life to Christ – I gave my life to Christ. No longer my plans, my dreams, or my wants, but solely what God wants and what He is about. I know that my time here is done and that it is time to jump into a new season and that scares me because of all the unknown but I have confidence for only one reason: Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:28 Ps. 37:23-24 God’s plans are the best. They are not to harm me and He will not give me anything I can’t handle, He is my stronghold. Does this mean it will be easy to leave my family? No. It’s never going to be easy but He didn’t promise that it would but He did promise that He would be with us and keep us. Matthew 28: 18- 20 I am with you always, to the end of the age. Though I am not going to a different nation when I leave here I will be going back in preparation for that and will be living a life worthy of the gospel because obedience doesn’t start when I’m in a different country it started when I gave my life to Christ and I have confidence because He is with me.

End is near.

The end is near and each day is getting harder and harder.

Summer and Myself

This week comes July, I can't believe that we are already a month into the summer making us almost to the middle of the summer...Last summer seemed to have gone slower verse the starlight speed its going this year.

We have 13 staff members with a potential 14th coming in late due to family priorities. There are 6 girls and 7 guys. 5 are from California; 2 from Edmonton, AB, Canada; 2 from Indiana; 1 Nebraska; 1 Washington; 1 Kentucky; and then me. Ages range from 18-23 and quite the different personalities.

(above picture: missing Andy and Andrew)

A couple days after different staff came in friendships immediately started to bloom. I love how god does that. He brings together a group of people from all over with different personalities, gifts, strengths, weaknesses, purpose for being here, and truly brings us together. There are definitely times when we all want our own space but I see such a potential in this staff. If we continue to seek after God and put each other first then I know that God will do amazing things through us this summer.

more pictures to come later. I have to wait for people to load them onto the computer first.

More then just saying "yes"

The other day I was checking my emails and messages when I came across pictures of one of my closest friend's graduation pictures. One specific picture had three of my other good friends with her at her graduation, celebrating in this great joyous day, but I wasn't there. Then I got an email from my sister; my brother in-law is getting baptized. He's been a believer for a few years now but has never been baptized another huge day but I can't be there. With looking at those I was struck, this is going to be my life. I'm not going to be home for Christmas, birthdays, or other Holidays, watch my nephews get older, see friends get married or have kids...and I'll be honest I almost started to cry. I want to be there for those events, support those I love, be there for them. I want to be there but this is when I have to step back and see the whole picture. When Jesus died He didn't die just for me. John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." It never said, "For God so loved Kendra that he gave his one and only Son, that if she believes in him she shall have eternal life." No. He died for the World. Then in that moment of staring at those pictures there was a glimpse oh so small of me thinking, "Could I stay home?" But God shut that down right away bringing to mind Jesus Christ's last commands:

Matthew 28:18-20 "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."

Luke 24:45-47 "Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, 'This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem."

Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


But then this verse came into my mind as well, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." You are not your own...As soon as I gave my life to Christ that meant, I gave my life to Him. I am not my own. I no longer have the right to live out what I want for this life is not my own. I need to be about God and his wants, His plans and His are about redeeming His people back. But I grew up in the church, I heard "this life is not my own" all the time but I had to take it back to its original meaning not what we've made it to be, have whatever you want then Christ can have your life. Pursue your dreams then let Christ have your life. No the original meaning that the apostles but who I specifically wan to bring up, Paul understood. In His letters he starts them off with, "Paul a servant of Christ Jesus." Servant - not your own, belonging to another. In those same moments of staring at those pictures more was brought to my mind not only that following Christ costs my dreams, my career, my ideal family situation (living next to them all), but literally my life. I for whatever reason separate giving up my dreams, wants etc. life and physically my life. But they are the same giving up my life means both of those. I still remember last August when I had this first revelation - when I say "I will go, Lord send me." that death is (most likely) involved. But if this life is not mine then why should it matter? In Acts 21 Paul's friends are saying don't go to Jerusalem because of persecution there but Paul got that this life was not about him with his response in verse 13, "Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."

This life has to be about His dreams passions and desires not about me. He died for the World. There's an old Arabic proverb that says, "The greatest crime in the desert is finding water and not telling anyone." I have the water, I have to tell those who don't know. I was given commands...I have to obey. Is it going to be easy all the time? No it will probably be a hard journey most of the time but HE is worth it. Will/do I miss seeing my nephews grow up, being at my families birthdays and other family get togethers, seeing my friends graduate, seeing them get married, and other things? Yes but what is more important me or God? And I can also praise Him because I know we (family, some of my friends, and I) will live in eternity with Christ. So why not live for eternal things now? Why not live for Him who sent His son for me? I have no excuse. I will go Lord, send me.


If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.
_C.T. Studd

Trust...oh man.

She walked into the office with a task to complete. The day was going by well. She and her co-workers had plenty of things to keep them busy, and thankfully it wasn't just busy-work,which allowed the day to go by fast. She handed off the message then was reminded to check finances; something she had intended to do for the past couple of weeks but kept forgetting. Awaiting the file to open she thought of the end of the year where she would set aside whatever was left for a trip down to Mexico in November with friends. The file opened and the screen blurred except five red symbols. Instantly all previous thoughts vanished. Her mind went into panic mode. Not only does she not have money but she is in debt. How could this be? she asked herself over and over. Question upon question blurred through her head as she walked out of the office fighting back tears of frustration and unbelief. She went into a room in the back away from others pacing, but only for a short time because she knew that she needed to get back to work. As she returned to work the thoughts were to overwhelming. What am I going to do? She walked over and waited while her boss ended a phone conversation then explained. He smiled then said, "Don't worry about it where God guides He will provide. Trust Him."


Ironic how one can speak to others of Trust in God and they too say it of their lives which may be true but when a test comes our way we buckle.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in me."
Jesus to His disciples (John 14:1)

Who Do I Think I am?

This past week I was talking with a friend. We were sitting in the main room downstairs in the dorms with approximately eighty people around whether upstairs in the main room we were or shuffling in between. He asked me, "What's something that has been a struggle for you?"

I began to explain, "Hanging out with the different groups that come down is probably one of the hardest things for me because I'm not a game playing, small talk person. I'd rather sit down discuss; what's going on in your life? what's God doing? how are you? etc. I want to create a relationship with someone then play games because then I know the relationship we have is based off of more then frivolous things."

All the while one of our mutual friends was sitting across the room playing a game of Egyptian Rat Screw (a card game) with the some of the group. He responded in love, "But when she(referring to our friend playing the game) sits down to play a game she is saying 'You matter to me. I'm taking time and investing it in you.' She's building a relationship with them as they play the game. Not everyone is like you and is able to dive into discussion and open up that way. We have to be all things to all people."

I didn't really know how to respond. It wasn't that I felt "burned" by what he said but that he was right. Who do I think I am? That I am able to say this is the way I am so if people have to do it my way because I'm not stepping out? I immediately thought of how one day I will be, Lord willing, sharing the gospel with Muslims in their culture - being all things to them. But who do I think I am that I can do that there but I can't even do it here with people of my culture?

For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.
_1 Corinthians 9:19-23
(italics, bolding mine)

It's not just about when I get there someday, yes be thinking about it but be living it out now. I wrote about this quote from another friend a little while ago, "I have Salvation and I know if should affect my everyday life. But what does that look like?" One way is to live all things to all people every day; now and then also when I get to wherever the Lord leads.

Seasons

It was getting close to the week where I'd have to part with a close friend and I was told that life is full of many seasons and that this was one. I recognize that life is indeed full of season even nature reminds me of this as I walk outside, of course they are a bit more obvious when I live in Michigan. Throughout my life I have had several friends and throughout the years I have a couple close friends. In elementary school into middle school and junior high there were a couple but we grew out of picking our noses and playing with blocks...we started to become who we are. There were friends that were lost due to crushes and us thinking that whoever that "week's" was was more important. There were some lost because sports became more important or school. Then in high school friendship seemed to be deeper and I hoped that the day would never come to prove everyone true, "you don't stay friends with your friends from high school." Then there is the cliche of "distance makes the heart grow fonder" ...Now there have been many friendships that went through a lot throughout the years and have stuck through the drama, the relationships, and the distance. But I was just reminded of these seasons again this past week as I became friends with one of the groupos who came with her church then once again at the end of the week to say goodbye. When I came back for my second "semester" here I found myself not wanting to open up at all because I wondered if I could do it all over again...become so close or even close with people only to say goodbye. I wondered, when this season of goodbyes, as cliche as that may sound, would end? But then i realized that I can't live that way. Enclosed. Never to be real with people. While seasons are always changing and I don't think this season will ever end but to be transparent with people show them who you truly are...always in hopes that they would see you...you being a sinner saved by grace. And in hopes that they if they aren't already your brother or sister that through that friendship and transparency that they might and then we no longer have to say goodbye but hasta luego, see you later. Now this still as, so true as it is...does not make this season easy, easier yes but facil no. posible un dia...

God is moving!

brief sentences of excitement:

a friend of mine who is not a believer, is noticing a difference, I hope they realize it is Christ.

I've been praying and praying for a friend and I'm seeing fruit. In His time, in HIS time.

I thought I had a plan, as I always do and He thwarted it like He (always) does. Praise God for shaking my plans.

a person whose personality does not match mine and was a struggle for me, we are now friends.

worries of future, in His hands.

Praise the Lord for your all-knowingness,
For the grace and love I cannot fathom.
Praise the Lord for everyday

Praise the Lord for everyday and all He is doing

Vapor - Really?

Last weekend one of my friends said something that has stuck with me, "Should salvation not effect our everyday lives? How would it look?" (And I have continued to ponder that then I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I read a little bit of this book then I'm overwhelmed and I have to stop and think and evaluate my life.

"It's crazy that we think today is just a normal day to do whatever we want with. To those of us who say, " today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money," James writes, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. Wht is your life? You are a mist that appears for little while and then vanishes" (4:13-14).

oh and then

"Frederick Buechner wrote, 'Intellectually we all know that we will die, but do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as thought it were true. on the contrary, we tend to live as thought our lives would go on forever.'"
pg40


I'm that person Francis and Buechner describe. I think future for when I'm on the missions field, when I'm at the University, when... and yes I KNOW that someday I'll day but what if it were today would I be happy with my actions, thoughts, words? Would other people see me living eternally? For Christ?

Todos Dias

Everyday.
You give me another chance everyday.
The day before or even the morning of
My thoughts may extend to you through struggle and confusion
Even at times anger but
Everyday your mercies are new
And you reveal to me a little more of your grace and who you are.
Praise the Lord for your all-knowingness,
For the grace and love I cannot fathom.
Praise the Lord for everyday.

Thoughts from Sunday Evening Message

What if we were the disciples and he asked us on the day of his crucifixion, "Follow me. Experience this with me." what if? would we? Would we want to go? Talk about fellowship as the first nail goes into His hands and He screams. then the first nail goes into yours and you scream all the while looking into each others eyes. Intimate Fellowship.




that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
v.10-11

message from Phil. 3:1-11

Another Class Journal

We attended the Islamic Center of San Diego on Tuesday evening with our EWI class. Here is my journal/form post from our visit.


I thoroughly enjoyed going to the mosque. Seeing first hand how the prayer works and hearing our "guide" Atah(?) overview the different things we've been learning be as well as expand on different ideas.

One thing that he said really stuck out to me. (not word for word but the gist...)

"The five prayers a day keep us from sinning, at least the big sins because we know that we are going to be going before Allah in a couple of hours."

This made me think. They have schedule prayers each day while we do not have schedules prayers we are called to "pray continuously" (1 Thes. 5:17) and to approach the throne with confidence (Heb 4:16)...but do we? We scoff at their five schedule prayers a day yet do we even in our liberty go to the Father about everything every part of every day? Do we even go to Him everyday? And I don't mean just before meals. Do we?

Then what of this idea of keeping from sinning? They realize they will be going before Allah and so they try not to sin yet we who are to come before Christ all the time and are no longer slaves to sin (Rom. 6:5-7) because of Christ, I think are all too flippant with knowing of God's grace.

Now I'm not saying this is true of all but I know this is true of myself at times. These are things that we need to be evaluating. Not judging the differences of Islam and Christ Followers, yes see the differences, but do not forget that these people are just as important to Christ as we so to simply judge, what love are we showing?

The difference is that they do not truly know Jesus Christ, the Savior. That's got to rattle us.

Modesty

We are taking an "Encountering the World of Islam" class and part of our homework is to reply to our readings and this is mine from this week.

It is because of modesty. I never understood the significance of the veils that the Muslim women wear but it is because of modesty. Something I'd admire about Muslims (generalization) is their commitment. The Quran speaks of modesty being an important virtue and therefore the women obey. I was once told by a man who worked with Muslims that the reason for the head coverings was to cover up their hair, their beauty and pride. Some even go to the extent of only having their eyes showing. Even men abiding by modesty. In "The Desert Rat: The Remarkable Story of Aileen Coleman" by Annette Adams, Adams speaks of a time when she is visting Aileen in Jordan and a middle eastern man came close to touching her but backed away quickly with his hands raised as if someone were shooting at him, saying that he didn't touch her. For in the Quran is says that a man may not touch a woman unless it is his mother, sister, or wife. Modesty is so highly valued.

When I think of modesty today in our culture, two thoughts run through my mind; 1800s and shame. By the 1800s I mean the era of "Pride and Prejudice" when there was etiquette in regards to many things but specifically when it came to interacting with the opposite sex and in presentation of oneself. but sadly over the years, for whatever reason we now think there is no need for etiquette and then to think modesty is key? ha. It is a sad realization and maybe I am looking at our culture with a pessimistic view but I think of the media. Movies: it is terribly hard to be able to go to a movie nowadays and not have some perverse humor, sex scenes, or women who are barely dressed. Music: songs without perverse messages are a rarity now. Internet: everything and anything. Even checking out in a grocery store there are magazines filled with pornographic images for all the world to see. Then there are girls, even Christ Followers, who don't see clothing their problem. It's the guys' fault if that's what they're thinking. But it's not just girls, guys have their own modesty issues.

When did lack of modesty become okay? Have we become desensitized to such things? I think we need to take a lesson in modesty from our Muslim neighbors.

Cultural Day

Every once in awhile our directors send us out on cultural days. They send us on a scavenger basically. Telling us places to go or information that we need to find. Today it was spend at least two hours at the cultural center, find the 4 statues, and get 50 pounds of beans at a market. To get to all these places take the local transportation, busses. "Here's a couple of bucks be back by the end of the day." Here's our adventure:

A short walk to the main street then an hour ride down town to Centro.


Then off the bus and onto finding the statues. The first statue we found...


yes, Abraham Lincon. Why in Mexico? We haven't figured that out yet but it is a cool statue of him.


Chatemoc (Indian chief) was the next statue and then two other guys who I forgot their names :]


Then we headed over to the Cultural Center where we found out that almost all of the exhibits (it was like a museum) were under construction...therefore we went to the IMAX hoping to spend our 2hrs watching "Sea Monsters" "Panda Adventure" or "The Alps" but no that was closed too. So we finally found the two exhibits that weren't closed. One on Buddhism and the other on modern art. they weren't allowing pictures inside so we only have pictures of the oustide.



Then for lunch we found a small cafe, pretty excited for our food because it was now about 2.


But it wasn't as good as we hoped...


Then down a couple of blocks, a quick stop at the best coffee shop, for our beans at the market. Then to find a bus and get back with our 50lbs of beans.




And it was suppose to rain all day but it never did except for the times we were inside buildings, Thanks God!