Hard headed or Somethin'

I was challenged early on this week to, "think outside the box." I had just got done telling my friend different stories about my time in Mexico specifically about my "try again" entry that I had written last August about Maldives and the following months of my brain processing different things. As soon as she said this I began to think, "what in the world does that look like?" I am a very inside the box thinker. Give me rules, direction and I'll follow but give me freedom and I almost don't know what to do with myself. As I began to think about this "outside the box" over the next couple of days I realized something that I have noticed before but it was another one of my "duh" moments; I like plans. I know that you are all thinking duh or possibly might have chuckled a bit because that is an obvious with me but like I said it was a "duh" moment. When God changed my life in a matter of a moment 4 years ago in Mexico once I returned I instantly began thinking, "what will/can I do as a vocation because I can't just major in missions?" At that time I was reading Mission to the Headhunters by Frank and Marie Drown and at one point she spoke of medicine and how that opened up doors to share the gospel and instantly I thought I can do this. Then there was the Maldives saga, ha, where I fought and fought then said alright I can do this. Again and again different things have "appeared" and I right away I say alright "lets conquer" or "woah what...well okay lets conquer." Then I thinking and wondering and seeing that maybe this isn't right. I go through pros and cons, maybe I don't make a list but mentally, oh yeah. think outside the box...

Back in July when the staff was on retreat we had one day where we were in silence and solitude. One of the things I so clearly understood that day was Trust God He has the plans for you (Jer. 29:11) and then...live by faith as Abraham did. The author of Hebrews comments on his faith in chapter 11 specifically I think of verse 8, "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (emphasis mine) God told him just a glimpse of the plan, God said go and gave him a promise.

The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."(Gen. 12:1-3)

Put this into perspective. At this point Abraham had established a home with his wife and family, servants, his job, his life. Think about it in our terms today, Think about your life: where you live, your family, your friends, jobs, church family, your favorite places to go, etc. and then God says, "I want you to leave all of it and go to a new place where I'll show you but for now just go." ...wait you want me to do what? Okay well when will I get there? How far away? Do I get to come back and see my family? Is it hot or cold what do I need to bring? Can I leave in a month I need to finish somethings? I would be asking for clarifications, details, "benefits", wanting to know what exactly am I getting myself into. But this is key,

"So Abram left, as the LORD had told him..." (Gen.12:4)
"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (Heb. 11:8)

Abraham hears God's commands and goes. "He did not go in blind faith but in complete confidence in God's trustworthiness."(The study notes) Complete confidence in God. Thinking back to my constant switching of plans, my in the box thinking and right now feeling as though I'm in this "limbo" and wanting to yet again switch to another plan. This is something God has been hammering into my head since last summer (and I'm sure before) and you would think, "ya got it yet?" but man I just so badly want to be in control of things even without my knowing. Thankfully God knows me therefore he uses people (and a myriad of different things) to get through my thick head once again to teach me, Faith. Faith like Abraham. Have complete confidence in me. I know that my friend had intended me to be thinking out of the box about different things but God led me back to this lesson again which I so desperately needed. Just be still and have faith.


Psalm 46:10
Psalm 37