The other day I was checking my emails and messages when I came across pictures of one of my closest friend's graduation pictures. One specific picture had three of my other good friends with her at her graduation, celebrating in this great joyous day, but I wasn't there. Then I got an email from my sister; my brother in-law is getting baptized. He's been a believer for a few years now but has never been baptized another huge day but I can't be there. With looking at those I was struck, this is going to be my life. I'm not going to be home for Christmas, birthdays, or other Holidays, watch my nephews get older, see friends get married or have kids...and I'll be honest I almost started to cry.
I want to be there for those events, support those I love, be there for them. I want to be there but this is when I have to step back and see the whole picture. When Jesus died He didn't die just for me. John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." It never said, "For God so loved Kendra that he gave his one and only Son, that if she believes in him she shall have eternal life." No. He died for the
World. Then in that moment of staring at those pictures there was a glimpse oh so small of me thinking, "Could I stay home?" But God shut that down right away bringing to mind Jesus Christ's last commands:
Matthew 28:18-20 "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."
Luke 24:45-47 "Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, 'This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to
all nations, beginning at Jerusalem."
Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
But then this verse came into my mind as well, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
You are not your own...As soon as I gave my life to Christ that meant, I gave my life to Him. I am not my own. I no longer have the right to live out what I want for this life is not my own. I need to be about God and his wants, His plans and His are about redeeming His people back. But I grew up in the church, I heard "this life is not my own" all the time but I had to take it back to its original meaning not what we've made it to be, have whatever you want then Christ can have your life. Pursue your dreams then let Christ have your life. No the original meaning that the apostles but who I specifically wan to bring up, Paul understood. In His letters he starts them off with, "Paul a servant of Christ Jesus." Servant - not your own, belonging to another. In those same moments of staring at those pictures more was brought to my mind not only that following Christ costs my dreams, my career, my ideal family situation (living next to them all), but literally my life. I for whatever reason separate giving up my dreams, wants etc. life and physically my life. But they are the same giving up my life means both of those. I still remember last August when I had this first revelation - when I say "I will go, Lord send me." that death is (most likely) involved. But if this life is not mine then why should it matter? In Acts 21 Paul's friends are saying don't go to Jerusalem because of persecution there but Paul got that this life was not about him with his response in verse 13, "Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."
This life has to be about His dreams passions and desires not about me. He died for the World. There's an old Arabic proverb that says, "The greatest crime in the desert is finding water and not telling anyone." I have the water, I have to tell those who don't know. I was given commands...I have to obey. Is it going to be easy all the time? No it will probably be a hard journey most of the time but HE is worth it. Will/do I miss seeing my nephews grow up, being at my families birthdays and other family get togethers, seeing my friends graduate, seeing them get married, and other things? Yes but what is more important me or God? And I can also praise Him because I know we (family, some of my friends, and I) will live in eternity with Christ. So why not live for eternal things now? Why not live for Him who sent His son for me? I have no excuse. I will go Lord, send me.
If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.
_C.T. Studd
(above picture: missing Andy and Andrew)
