Mexico and back

Before we left, I knew that the week was going to be a good hard. By that I mean I knew I was going to be stretched a ton but that it was going to be hard. The whole week I struggled with were I am right now, being at school. My Junior year I committed to missions full time then during my internship I committed to going to the unreached and to the places no one wants to go. After being in Mexico for 15 months coming back hasn't been easy. At first I had no problem. I was pumped to be learning in every subject. But then a couple months went by and it was as if my transition period was delayed because that is when it started becoming hard. I've been struggling with:

"What does it look like for my to be overflowing with Christ? A contagious Christ follower? One who, even though I'm on a Christian campus, is different from the rest? I want to spread the gospel but I'm a Christian campus so what does that look like there? I'm at school for right now with what seemed no purpose. I am taking general classes but unsure with what my major should be. I know that I want to go to the places where most won't go, so how do I get in - by what means?"

All these things constantly swarming my head the past couple weeks and especially last week being in a place I love. Mexico is home to me, I can't truly describe why but it is. I've never felt at home as much as I do there. During the week done there I was able to spend time with two of the most influential people in my life. They reminded me, "God doesn't have you in the field because He knows you aren't ready for it. He hasn't finished preparing you to go yet because you obviously don't have all of the necessities to effectively reach the lost. At school you, are learning discipline in an uncomfortable situation, and while it isn't the same, it's similar. The field will be unfamiliar, uncomfortable and you will have nothing/no one to rely on except Him. He's teaching you that right now. Continue to trust your life to Him daily. Keep putting your life and everything about it on the alter daily." They reminded me again that it isn't about me and His plan is best. It is in His timing that things come to play.

Then also every morning I had the opportunity to meet with three college women and study worship. The thing that hit me the most about our study that week was: school and homework need to be worship as well as the times of praise and relationships. They are not excluded from worship. Everything I do needs to be glorifying to God, that includes school and homework.