Beautiful Wonderful Savior

I have begun this journey that lasts a year and is completely foreign to me. With it I have constantly been reminded in the past week or so that "Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) I had even been praying, "help me realize I am nothing and there is no way I can get through this year without you." The three past days were spent with about thirty other student leaders at a camp. We spent time learning of each others' strengths and discussing how they will help the whole team, tubing down the river, roasting hot dogs, telling about our pets and favorite hobbies, playing rage and other games, eating animal crackers, taking ridiculous photos, taking late night walks, etc. However the entire time, I seemed to be somewhere else. I tried to figure out what it was the first day but couldn't. It was yesterday night after someone shared from God's Word and talk about how it has nothing to do with us. We aren't the ones who are going to change anything but it's about Jesus and the gospel. I walked quickly out of the room with everyone and just walked on the paths in the dark talking with Jesus trying to figure out what was wrong. Why I seemed to be else where. I had made the lap around when I decided to go around one more time. I rounded the first corner and just stopped. The noise from the rocky sand underneath my shoes was too loud so I just stopped and talked with Jesus. "I am nothing. I am nothing." it repeated again and again then I heard "but I chose you." In John 15 Jesus talks about He is the vine and we are the branches and how "apart from Him I can do nothing" (v.5) and that's what I was repeating, "I am nothing." The past week I had been reminded of this but it was last night (as I was walking) I realized I was forgetting redemption. "but I chose you. I chose you out of this world." Later in that same chapter (John15:19) Jesus says but I have chosen you out of this world. I am nothing, yes this is truth but it is not the end He chose me. I am nothing yet He chose me out of the world. He made me something. I was stuck in all my inconsistencies, unworthiness, under qualified characteristics, and flaws... oh what a lie. Yes I have all those things but I am not bound by those things. they don't define me. But what a lie the enemy fed. he only let me see that far and made me forget redemption. He chose me! Jesus Christ, savior king of kings immanuel son of God, He chose me. This just continued (at that moment when walking and in this moment as well) to blow my mind. He chose me. I was reminded of a song I have sang many times but a line came to life to me: "When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me." He chose me. Oh how He loves!