You'll Come

Lately I have been extremely overwhelmed by the current state of the world. In one of my classes we were talking about the recent tragedy in Afghanistan with a U.S. army man killing off a whole village. As I read over the article again I cringed to think of all those innocent lives. Then we talked about the affect psychologically for the soldiers and again my heart sank. I recently watched a movie on trafficking that is occurring in eastern Europe, there were times when my stomach was churning others where I wanted to get up and punch some of the people in the movie and yet others where I couldn't open my eyes. A different movie I watched recently was on terrorism from a South Asian perspective and my heart broke. All of these have (at least) one thing in common, after and during each I was crying out to God. It's in all these events I saw the depravity of man and it brought me to my knees to pray and pray. To plead that Jesus would send out His laborers for the only way any of this is going to change is by the saving and loving power of Jesus Christ... and the only way all of this will be gone is when He returns but we know that all nations will be represented and therefore this perfection will not come until all nations know. So again I plead, Lord this world needs you desperately. People need you. Send out your laborers. Break down the fears and idols that they may have in their lives that are holding them back from sharing your love with all and for going to those who would hurt them if they proclaimed Your name because those people still need You. Send out Your church. And Jesus, I eagerly await Your Return.

Far too great

For the last several years I have been taking the different steps to prepare myself for the moment that at one point was six years off and is now just a short distance. Many of the different lessons I learned once a upon a time in a lovely city are returning. This next jump means I won't be a drive away from my family. I won't be able to visit and plan ridiculous straight drive road trips with my friends. I'll miss my nephews' soccer games. I may miss my friends getting married and having kids. I'll miss the Christmas traditions and my sisters and I being crazy when playing dancing games on the Wii...but as this list rolls on in the back of my mind Jesus comes to the forefront. He became nothing (Phil 2). He died so that I might have His righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21). He doesn't need me but He asked me to partner with Him and share His story and His love (Matt. 28:18-20; 2 Cor 5:14-20). So while that list above is precious to me and I have very dear and cherished moments from that list above... the cost of me not going is far too great. For He is worthy and they do not know His love.

grand river

the chatter of friends talking quitely
the ruffling of textbooks and favorite novels
the quick pattering of the keys on macbooks
the flickering flames in stone fireplace
the smooth jazz piano playing softly over head
the grinding of coffee beans
the loud shush of the steamer

I don't know what it is about places like this, but I love them. Whether it be a deep conversation with a friend, the completion of homework, or a quiet get away... all can be accomplished at a place like this. Love it.

Dinner

I had a conversation at dinner tonight about the happiness, fear, desert, gospel, and the end.
What is happiness to you - the question was asked
What do you fear - answers: regret, failure.
I sat back taking in everything that was said by my peers around the table. I sat there searching for words not of what I feared but of how to encourage them how to move them towards the true hope. These are my peers who know Christ. They have taken classes on the Bible, some mission kids, one I know better then the rest and I see fruit in her life... yet their fears are of this world. Still baffled as to what to say the topic changed...
What do you want to do after school - my answer: go.
I did not explain it that simple. I explain where the 10/40 was and what it was. It did not hit me until after all had left the table that two of my peers whom I was talking to grew up on the field yet did not know what the 10/40 was. Again the conversation moved...
You know the passage that talks about when all the nations here then the end will come - yes matthew 24:14
Some say we are in the end times now
I began to comment on how we are in the already but not yet because Jesus came but He will come again. Then on how only the Father knows when the end will come. I made reference to the parable of the ten virgins (Matt 25). This time I posed the question
Will we be ready? - response: that is one of the things that scares me the most, not being ready. if only we all lived like the end was coming
At this point again I sat listening, searching my brain for scripture and words. What should I have said? He IS coming and we don't know when. We are to live like this always ready! The end will come but when the nations know and they don't, it's our responsibility. This is that task we have been given. We need not regret. We need not fear failure if we rely on Jesus Christ! Although none of those words came to mind. Father, I ask you to move within the current generation. May we seek your truth. May we not be swayed by philosophy and empty deceit. May we step up and live in the reality that is, You ARE returning and we don't know when. May we be the laborers to the harvest that is ready. May we live in complete submission to You and You alone. Father may we not be against You but with You gathering Your people (Matthew 12:30).

1633

The burdens of this world. The hurt, brokenness, and the depravity of this world are overwhelming to me right now. I am reading a book about the events that cause kids to be pulled from their homes. Horrific histories. Sad histories. I say histories because they are not fiction they are true. These things could still happen to kids. 

I received a message from a friend about hurts from betrayal and now the struggles of forgiveness and hurts from that. 

Yet still, while this burden is heavy I have joy. 

John 16:33

Head above waters

I guess you could say this is how I've felt recently. I could list all the things that are going on in my life and why I am overwhelmed but really all that needs to be said is that I am. At the end of the summer I was praying desperately through Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Now it is when I feel like I am at my wits end, Jesus reminds me. Yesterday, it was the goodness and beautiful reminder of His return.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this. (Isaiah 9:6-7 ESV)

There will be no end to peace. He will rule with justice and righteousness... forever. Oh what joy is to be found sitting at the the feet of Jesus. to be reminded of His love. To remember He IS coming back again and there will be no end to peace. There will be justice. True justice. Even though there have been many times recently that my head feels barely above waters, He reminds me, "in my presence there is fullness of joy..." Praise God!

Knees bent, eyes lifted, hands open

My heart is heavy and burden today. This is not a new burden and those of you who read my rants may possibly be sick of hearing me talk of it but this burden is more then a weight that an ox pulls but it feels more like an enduring branding on my heart... and I am helpless not knowing what to do, I lift up my eyes to the the Author and Perfecter of faith, Jesus.. Lord I pray for...




Amen.