boxing match.

I had the beautiful opportunity to return to a city once hated and now...I like very much. The drive down was filled a stormy mix of snow and rain but as we drew closer to the snow became sporadic until we came upon a beautifully painted sky that was the city's backdrop. It was a weekend filled with people from all different nations with brothers and sisters from each. Most of the weekend I was observing the lovely ladies I went down with and processing with them therefore my sorting out didn't really happen. I anticipated certain things late Saturday night as I sat curled up next to the heater with my journal. Knowing fair well that tomorrow leaving would be hard...again. I kept asking the same thing over and over. I couldn't quite figure it all out. Why is my heart pulled in so many different directions? On our drive back I made the mistake of sighing at one point which spurred on several questions. one individual said "I can't wait to see you in a couple weeks...I think it's interesting that you feel so strongly about that place when you aren't even going to be living there some day." Two places that every time I leave I fight back so much...so then I wonder what this all means as I plan to head elsewhere. Oh precious Jesus, chip off those pieces. I'm swinging...swing back but also let me be at your feet and in your arms. This is like the drive. Where its a stormy mess yet at one point soon there will be a beautiful sky to behold. I'm swinging. chip away the pieces.