God has been breaking and molding my heart in so many ways recently and its been hard but so good. With breaking and molding I'm not sure where He's leading me - instantly my head goes "so is this where you want me (future)?" but as I mentioned several times He just wants me to wait upon Him and to obey Him and what He has commanded in His Word. When you leave or even when you are there, we get so focused on future future future when I'm on the field etc. etc. but we (generalizing) always said if you stay you better be living so intentionally - reaching out to those around you and seeking Him - yet I think we have a tendency (or maybe its just me) to say well someday I'm going to be doing this so now I'm just going to focus on school(or whatever it may be)...hypocrite. I need to be reaching out to those around including those outside my home walls (dorm for me) and to those which Christ cared for - the fatherless, needy, weak, etc. There are so many people like that here and I need to go there. Since I've realized that the places others(believers) don't want to go that's where I want go because those people are yearning for something just like those in India, Saudi, Yemen, Bhutan, Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Cambodia etc. because they have this in common - they don't have Christ. And I'm here therefore I better be all here and be living and proclaiming the gospel right where I am.
This has been one of the overwhelming thoughts that Christ has been teaching me lately.
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