Dinner

I had a conversation at dinner tonight about the happiness, fear, desert, gospel, and the end.
What is happiness to you - the question was asked
What do you fear - answers: regret, failure.
I sat back taking in everything that was said by my peers around the table. I sat there searching for words not of what I feared but of how to encourage them how to move them towards the true hope. These are my peers who know Christ. They have taken classes on the Bible, some mission kids, one I know better then the rest and I see fruit in her life... yet their fears are of this world. Still baffled as to what to say the topic changed...
What do you want to do after school - my answer: go.
I did not explain it that simple. I explain where the 10/40 was and what it was. It did not hit me until after all had left the table that two of my peers whom I was talking to grew up on the field yet did not know what the 10/40 was. Again the conversation moved...
You know the passage that talks about when all the nations here then the end will come - yes matthew 24:14
Some say we are in the end times now
I began to comment on how we are in the already but not yet because Jesus came but He will come again. Then on how only the Father knows when the end will come. I made reference to the parable of the ten virgins (Matt 25). This time I posed the question
Will we be ready? - response: that is one of the things that scares me the most, not being ready. if only we all lived like the end was coming
At this point again I sat listening, searching my brain for scripture and words. What should I have said? He IS coming and we don't know when. We are to live like this always ready! The end will come but when the nations know and they don't, it's our responsibility. This is that task we have been given. We need not regret. We need not fear failure if we rely on Jesus Christ! Although none of those words came to mind. Father, I ask you to move within the current generation. May we seek your truth. May we not be swayed by philosophy and empty deceit. May we step up and live in the reality that is, You ARE returning and we don't know when. May we be the laborers to the harvest that is ready. May we live in complete submission to You and You alone. Father may we not be against You but with You gathering Your people (Matthew 12:30).

1633

The burdens of this world. The hurt, brokenness, and the depravity of this world are overwhelming to me right now. I am reading a book about the events that cause kids to be pulled from their homes. Horrific histories. Sad histories. I say histories because they are not fiction they are true. These things could still happen to kids. 

I received a message from a friend about hurts from betrayal and now the struggles of forgiveness and hurts from that. 

Yet still, while this burden is heavy I have joy. 

John 16:33

Head above waters

I guess you could say this is how I've felt recently. I could list all the things that are going on in my life and why I am overwhelmed but really all that needs to be said is that I am. At the end of the summer I was praying desperately through Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Now it is when I feel like I am at my wits end, Jesus reminds me. Yesterday, it was the goodness and beautiful reminder of His return.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this. (Isaiah 9:6-7 ESV)

There will be no end to peace. He will rule with justice and righteousness... forever. Oh what joy is to be found sitting at the the feet of Jesus. to be reminded of His love. To remember He IS coming back again and there will be no end to peace. There will be justice. True justice. Even though there have been many times recently that my head feels barely above waters, He reminds me, "in my presence there is fullness of joy..." Praise God!

Knees bent, eyes lifted, hands open

My heart is heavy and burden today. This is not a new burden and those of you who read my rants may possibly be sick of hearing me talk of it but this burden is more then a weight that an ox pulls but it feels more like an enduring branding on my heart... and I am helpless not knowing what to do, I lift up my eyes to the the Author and Perfecter of faith, Jesus.. Lord I pray for...




Amen.

The heavens belong to you
For by Him all things were created
by the breath of His mouth all their host
The great, mighty, and awesome God
He was and is and is to come
King of glory
The rock, a refuge, and stronghold
Father to the fatherless
A consuming fire
Is love
THE God

A bearer of The Image
Chose death over life
The heavens bow,
     I stand defiantly
Punishment is eternal
Depraved
Worked out my saving
Followed the rule book
Curious to my own death
Perfectly masked the decay

For God so loved the world
The Word became flesh
You did not chose me, I chose you
Apart from me you can do nothing
He became sin who knew no sin,
    that we might become the
       righteousness of God
As the Father has loved me,
    so I have loved you.
Behold, to the Lord your God
belong the heaven and the heaven of heavens,
     the earth with all that is in it.
Yet the Lord set His heart in love on you fathers
     and chose their offspring after them,
As you are this day.
While we were still sinners Christ died for us.
If you confess with your mouth that,
     Jesus is Lord
And believe in your heart that,
     God raise Him from the dead,
     You will be saved.

Wash me
And I shall be whiter than snow.
Saved by grace
Eternal life in exchange for death
Treasures in a jar of clay
Beautiful feet
Living sacrifice

Not by my own doing
I did not chose Him, He chose me.

Displaced and Torn

The sidewalks are full of people scurrying from class to class and freshmen finding their new love (o boy). My shelves are full of textbooks. My planner full of due dates... yet my brain and emotions seem to be displaced. I listened to a native Burmese brother pray for his country; my heart was torn between brokenness and joy. To hear his love for the Father was so encouraging to hear yet my heart broke because there are so many people worshiping false idols who, as he said,  "can't save their sins." I just finished reading a book of one brother's venture to South America and His life among a tribal nation. This again tore my heart in two different directions.  It was such a great joy to join him in his journey in seeing those people sing out to Jesus and "walk His trails" but then I was reminded of how many are out there without any knowledge nor the resources to know...I know school is preparation but that doesn't mean it changes my state here of stomach churning thinking of the fact that  people don't know and have no opportunity... Lord, You know all the hearts that are not singing your praises, You know they need to hear of You. Send out You laborers. Awaken the Church to go. Father, continue to burden my heart for the lost may this burden lead me to my knees continuously. Help me to see my school work as preparation and even more important, as worship. Send out Your laborers, Lord Jesus, send them out.

(literally) a thought from (a) coffee shop

why is it that any time I want get anything done my mind reels at which point all I can focus on is music and all I want to do is write music yet there are too many thoughts to find the ones that would be suitable for paper.